Context for the Friday Advantage

Thank you for embarking on the journey to succeed on your own terms. That’s why I've written this book – to help you build your pathway in life.

When I had what I believed was a solid draft, I asked 12 trusted family members and friends to read the manuscript and provide me with feedback. They undoubtedly have made this book better with their many suggestions. I did not heed all the suggestions, but I did receive some wonderful input and some commonality of ideas for improvement. One key takeaway from my invited critics was that I needed to disclose more about myself, some context so you can better understand my experiences and how you may benefit from them. And so I will share by telling you a bit about who I am.

I Am a Man
I recognize the personal and professional advantages of being born and raised as a man in our society. I am seen as strong, capable, assertive, and leaderly – just by being a man. At the same time, our society has expected me to be stoic and to control my emotions. Men in my family are also expected to solve the big problems and hold everyone and everything together when the stuff is hitting the fan. My gender is an advantage in our society, but not without pitfalls.

I Am White
For generations, my ancestors have had a privilege in American society. We are White – the default “good race” that can be trusted, that doesn’t face racial trauma, which is not viewed with suspicion, which is not discriminated against. This advantage cannot be dismissed or underestimated. Through genealogy research, I learned that some of my early ancestors in America “owned” slaves to work on their plantation. Some of my ancestors were on the frontier in pre-colonial America where they carved out a life in the wilderness / lived on land that was not theirs. I have no idea if they simply took the land or worked out amicable relationships with the Indigenous people there before them. Later generations of my family were dirt poor. I recognize my advantages in life, and at the same time bear the scars of epigenetic shame from being on the oppressive side of history.

I Am Straight
As a heterosexual person, I have never had to hide my sexuality in our society. I have never had to come out. I have never had to face the rampant taunting my other-gendered classmates had to face when I was young. And I have not had to face the legal and social restrictions my non-heterosexual friends and family members have had to deal with while just trying to do what all of us want to do – live our lives. I have never been ostracized for holding my partner’s hand or exchanging a kiss in public. My sexuality has never once been “the problem” that it continues to be for so many.

I Am the Product of Good Upbringing
I was raised in a two-parent family in a safe neighborhood in a good suburban American town. We were not wealthy and there were times when money was tight. But we never went without food to eat, water to drink, heat to keep us warm, and clothes to wear. My parents lived by and enforced strong values of decency and treating others well. We lived in a town where all the adults were watching the children to make sure we kept on the straight and narrow.

I Am Educated
The K-12 school system where I was educated was considered the best in class in the 1960s and 1970s. The teachers were professional and genuinely cared for us. The education was broad and practical, and we were not “taught to the test.” We learned to think critically and were encouraged to pursue our special interests. We were exposed to “liberal” ideas and “conservative” ideas. We were taught civility and respect for others, even when we disagreed.

After graduating from high school, I attended Penn State University and earned a Bachelor of Arts degree in Journalism with an emphasis in Philosophy and Religious Studies. After working and establishing my career, I attended the University of Pennsylvania part time and earned a Master of Science degree in Organizational Dynamics – an interdisciplinary study of how people work together in organizations. I have also had many profound professional education opportunities.
 
I Am Autistic
I was born with a brain that senses and processes the world differently than most of the people on this planet. Some people falsely believe that Autism is caused by vaccines or other external causes. The preponderance of scientific and historical evidence indicates that this is a condition that people are born with. In my case, Autism is both a blessing and curse.
Like many Autistic people, I have a higher-than-normal intelligence level. I see patterns and connections more readily than others. I am a direct and forthright communicator. I am deeply passionate about my perspectives on right and wrong. I have advanced language skills.

At the same time, Autism causes me to be more anxious than normal, less comfortable in social situations, needing more time to myself than most people, and needing to prepare for and rehearse many interactions to feel comfortable. You should know that if some of my perspectives are different than how you would have reacted this may be why. With that said, it doesn’t mean my handling of situations is better or worse than someone else’s might be.

I did not know that I am Autistic until I was in my 60s, so I did my best to navigate the world as I sensed and processed it. Just as every other person on the earth does – we take life as it happens.

I often suspected that I was “not normal,” but I did not know how true this was. To some extent, it’s a miracle that I and other autistic people do so well with a condition that is officially classified as a
“mental disorder.” Speaking of mental disorders . . .

I Am in Long Term Mental Health Recovery
After being hospitalized for extremely high blood pressure, heart failure and kidney failure in 2020, I began to explore the mind-body health connection. I discovered that I am a person who has been managing post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) for my entire life. This started with childhood injuries and adverse medical and dental experiences and grew worse due to additional traumatic experiences in my adult life.

PTSD affects every part of a person. At times it has held me back from doing things I could have done. At other times, it led me to take calculated risks – or kept me from taking risks because I calculated the risk as being too high. I would not recommend PTSD as a desirable experience for anyone. However, people who work through their PTSD can experience post-traumatic growth. What we learn from adverse experiences can help propel us forward to greater things. I can point to many things that PTSD has done to both hold me back and move me forward. One thing that has been a big step forward is becoming a certified peer specialist for mental health. This means that based on my life experiences, training and passing certification exams I am qualified to help others working to overcome their own mental health challenges.

I will always have PTSD. It is part of me. I will have some bad days, and I will have many, many good days. It’s part of who I am.

I hope you will enjoy and learn from this book.

-- Chuck Hall